This week marks my one year anniversary taking classes from Awesome Ballet School. When I think back to that first class, what stands out most is that I simply felt overwhelmed. I can remember hobbling to the bus after class thinking, "Dear God. Please let me be able to walk tomorrow." Aside from calf and foot cramps during class, I found that after 5 years off, there might be a slight bit of muscle memory, but absolutely no grey-matter memory. Even the simplest combinations were impossible, and I was mentally defeated. I watched my other classmates - thin, svelte things in leotards and tights - and thought nasty things about myself. Not only was I over thirty, but I probably had at least thirty pounds on each of them. At least. On a good day.
I may have ended Day 1 in a dark cloud of despair, but boy, am I glad I stuck with it.
Dear reader, if you are starting out and struggling, please know, It Does Get Better! A year later and remembering combinations is second nature. That foot points a lot better than it used to, and dare I say, I'm starting to look a bit more graceful, which is a nice departure from my initial imitation of a cow hoofing it across the floor. Those leotards and tights? Not so scary. And the first time you nail a pique arabesque and Awesome Tiny Girl does not, you will feel like a million bucks. Trust me, it will happen.
Anywho, Happy Anniversary to me. I think this is the first of many celebrations to come!